Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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