Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
