its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
