Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
