I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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