If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
