Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
