im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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