Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
