I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
