Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize