i think my mom watched the whole time
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
