so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
