somebody snuck up and got me drunk
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
