Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
