whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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