He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
