My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
