Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
