my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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