The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you win again, gameday.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
