Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
the liver wants what the liver wants
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
