Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
