yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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