My room smells like vodka and shame
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
