i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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