You made me cry and you don't even care
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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