for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize