i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
