is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
