i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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