before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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