I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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