That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
