Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
