I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
