I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
