this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
