You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
