I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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