he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
