i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
