I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
