ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
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