I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
