i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
