Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
