Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
