So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
