You're so nebulous sometimes
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
