i can't believe i had my finger in that
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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