I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
