I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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