i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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