u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
