Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
