yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
