grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
