I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
