So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
