I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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