everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
