About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
