Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
