Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I love you. Go after that dick
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
