Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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