Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
