worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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