After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
