like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
