she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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