xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
