should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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