some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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