I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
