I seem to have left my pride at pride
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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