Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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